after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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