So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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