Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
