I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
