Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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