He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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