Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
