I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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