OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
