I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
