My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
