Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
