My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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