i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
