so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
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