Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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