sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
