Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
