So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
