Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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