sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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