When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
