Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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