just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
