I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
