Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
my shit smells like andre
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
