I skipped work to stalk him.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
