I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
