You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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