...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
