Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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