did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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