No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
