drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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