Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
a search helicopter?!
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You don't make any sense
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