We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
