we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
