I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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