His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
