I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
