She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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