1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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