coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
