just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
