I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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