I wannas sexs uuuuu
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
