she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
