The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Damn victory sex feels great
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
