You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
