shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Alive.
So much puke
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
