well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
